My DrEaMviLLe

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark… To be kicked, when you’re down, to feel like you’ve been pushed around… That’s the start of the chorus of Simple Plan’s Welcome To My Life… I love that song so much, especially the line, "You might think I’m happy, but I’m not gonna be okay"… I used to be a really happy-go-lucky girl, who wouldn’t be bothered by any petty stuff. Sadly, I transformed into a total different person after my mom passed away… I became sensitive, getting emotional easily… No one will ever understand, unless he/she goes through the pain I went through, losing my mom, who was always there for me when I stirred up troubles. She was my pillar of support. I didn’t realise that her demise would bring such a change in my life. I became a pathetic person, always crying (Yeah, to my Convent girlfriends, thanks for tolerating me during my darkest hour!)… I turned over a new leaf once again, when my dearest friend invited me to church. Knowing that the Mighty Lord is there for me, my Father, Creator, and everything, makes me feel like I’m not alone. But I was still a pessimist, until I attended the motivational camp organised by Socso back in Form 5 (Thanks to Dad for forcing me there, I learned that I should never take things for granted!)… A sense of guilt & at the same time, relief, clouded me… Seeing many other unfortunate orphans made me grateful that I still have my Daddy, at least. I tried very hard to be the girl I was, the bubbly girl who was full of laughter. No matter how hard I tried, there were people who didn’t give me the opportunity to prove that I was no longer the annoying cry baby. There were so many hindrances that made me broke down. Thankfully, I didn’t give up completely, so I did my best to show the world the brand new me. Even so, there’s a side effect that just won’t go away. Sensitive. That’s what people call me (sadly)… Believe it or not, I gotta say, I have very serious case of PMS (girls should know about this), I really hate my unstable raging hormones. They’d go crazy every once in a month, causing me to be having rollercoaster moodswings. Anyhow, I did some research on that & already trying to lessen its symptoms… Trust me, you have no idea how awful I feel about this… I wish there’s more I can do about that issue… Oh, why my hormones have to be that way? Other times of the month, I’d stay as cheerful as I could! Oh yeah, people should watch out, not to trigger my sensitive point during PMS season… Yep, I do get mad pretty fast but I’m more of the I-will-forget-everything-the-next-minute type. Still, it depends on what that somebody did. From what I know, God forgives me, I’ll have to forgive & forget as well! (Laughs) Strange but true… I just pray hard that there will be a more effective way to banish that irritating "disease"… Till then, I hope I won’t be hurting the innocent souls out there! (Begging) PLEASE FORGIVE me once I get cranky… That’s just me… and my hormones… Sighs…