My DrEaMviLLe

          F-R-I-E-N-D-S! I can say I am definitely one person who cannot live without FRIENDS! They are people who mean a lot to me; the Very Important People in my life! It doesn’t matter whether they are my just-normal, close, best or true friends, they are the ones who have helped me survive all this while, the ones who have been with me through thick and thin… Yes, friends are included in the category of people who come and go in my life… I have made uncountable friends and yet, lost a number of very very very good friends. One of my biggest regrets includes losing my one-time best-est friend back in Lower Secondary just because of a silly misunderstanding! She was my really superb companion. We did many things together. Many unforgettable sweet memories… I remember; once, we hanged out in Metro Plaza one afternoon before school started. We were having so much fun, checking out the colourful ink pens (yeah, that made us forgot what time it was!) until we did not realise we were running out of time as it was about to be 1 o’ clock. In the end, we were late to school and got off with a warning. In our hands, we were still holding Bubble Tea (our favourite drink back then)… Sadly, because of immaturity, I lost that best buddy forever (almost, we still keep in touch though)… But because of that incident, I gained a whole new gang of MCA friends—PL2, PY, CMei, WP, ET, PC, GF & LV! We played volleyball (which I sucked in it), had outings to shopping malls, etc etc… and even had our own group conflicts! Of course, we managed to sort things out later! Other than that, I have other clicks of friends, (obviously all girls since I was from Convent) my classmates and schoolmates (especially Alis, Vignes, Vee, Soo Yuen, Yen Min, Ain, Shasi… etc, etc…)! As I ventured into Form Six in Kajang High School, I made a bunch of new friends (and I never forget my old ones for sure)… Zulyka, Yuni, Meenu, Amar, Priya, Teik Lan, Azahani, Zati, Janet, Prem ge ge, ah Chan ko ko and whole lot more! (No hard feelings if I did not mention your name here, no matter what, I have you peeps in my heart- forever and ever!) I started doing more crazy stuff when I got into Form Six. And it was an entirely brand new environment as I had been in an all-girls school for 11 years, now that I had to cope with having males around (Nevertheless, there were very few guys in Bio class)… At the beginning, it was pretty much awkward, but as time flew by, I soon started to have fun mixing around… Oh not forgetting, my friends (or I prefer to call them my brothers and sisters in Christ) from church… My funny juniors (The Trinity)… Also not leaving behind, my workmate Sam, who was like my big bro, and Elyanna & Ati who were like my sisters! Besides that, I seriously hardly have any other male friends… *Laughs out loud* And MJ, thanks for being there and all the memorable moments! To everyone else who knows me and whom I know, u have my love & concern always! Thanks for being my friend! I would hereby express my endless gratitude for all your overflowing love, support and help as I walk through the paths in life! I would never trade anyone of you for anything in my whole life, ever! Please never leave each other ya?! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING, MY DEAREST TREASURED FRIENDS! Who am I without you guys and gals?! U have helped me to come this far… May we continue to motivate, lead, support, love and care for each other! As the saying goes: Make new friends, but never forget the old ones! FRIENDS FOREVER! I Love You All Always~~~~

          Life is not a bed of roses… I certainly agree to that phrase! Yeah, life is tough! For me, life is like a rose plant full of thorns, which represent the trials and tribulations in life; and the roses, which are the sweetest things that could happen in one’s life… And the stem of the plant, is the support where thorns grow on it and beautiful roses are produced from it… Well, my stem is definitely the One and only One— GOD! He puts me through trials and tribulations as I grow each day, to make me learn some precious lessons from each hardship… Every cloud has a silver lining… It’s absolutely true for me! However, He will not put me through temptations and difficulties that I cannot bear. I often let Him down, but He’s there for me, offering me His endless mercy and never-ending chances to improve. He has brought me out of darkness and help me find my way through the tunnel of light. I owe Him for the salvation I have through my Lord Jesus Christ. He sent His one and only Son to die for our sins. How amazingly unbelievable is that? Me, a once-spiritually-poor peasant, is now filled by His grace and everlasting love! A few days ago, my dad and I argued… Dad has been against Christianity all this while… I was such a bad testimony that I gave dad an opportunity to condemn God, and Lord Jesus my saviour! I was overwhelmed by a pang of guilt, I lost faith and I almost gave up on life… I thought, what good am I left to be in this world? I disappoint my dad; I am a failure, a disaster, a nightmare, the black sheep of my family- I screw up everything it seems… Dad and I lack communication since mom’s gone… He is so in his adult world and I am barely halfway through adulthood. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how my dad feels or thinks, and dad on the other hand, will never try to listen and see from my teenage perspective! What am I to do? Teenagers nowadays are way different than the teens in his era. I felt so useless when dad kept pointing out every little mistake I did (even when it never occurred to me what I did was actually wrong in dad’s eyes) and kept mentioning my problematic past. He still views me as the negative person I used to be when I have tried my best to prove to the world that I’m a changed person. This is what I meant earlier in my other journal, people just wouldn’t give me the chance to show that I’ve turned over a new leaf, though still pacing myself. With my PMS season, I got so emotional I let words slip off my tongue… The situation turned ugly. Thankfully, in the end, I managed to turn on dad’s silent mode, letting me finish my sentences without him chipping in and interrupting. Nonetheless, the conversation didn’t come to any conclusion as step mom called dad off for bedtime. Dad was my unsung hero, but once more, what happened??? I was rather frustrated, I thought that things between dad and I improved, that we’d let out what we’d bottled up all these years during a 3-hours long (emotional & unexpected)conversation, but I was wrong. The misunderstandings just make me feel that all my attempts to improve the cold situations are futile. To dad, I have no rights to defend myself nor voice out my opinion, how I feel. He told me that there’s no justice in this world. Even if I got accused of something I didn’t do, I’d have to take the blame. As for me, I’m not being aggressive or rebellious, I just want dad to know that I want to make the father-daughter relationship work out and create a better family environment. I failed! That is when I thought I should die instead of all the other innocent souls out there. They deserve a better life ahead. I am crushed. My hopes for a better life are shattered. I humiliated God, I failed Him as well, I was a disgrace to Him and His Kingdom! I wanted to take the easy way out. I didn’t and couldn’t… I was supposed to stay positive and think of a better solution. But my mind was in such a mess, all I thought was, to leave to somewhere far away. I wasted so much tears. The next day, I gained my courage, stepped up, and prayed to God that He’d restore my faith once again and guide me on what to do. Fortunately, my friend was there to save me. She’s my angel! PL2, I owe you this! Things were much better, but somehow, it still felt so awkward with dad at home… I just have to continue praying for things to be better and better… If all I’m going through now is my "wound", I hope that I could see the "pearl" soon! Guess I should work harder to enhance my everything (overall)! All credit is given to my Lord; He showed me that He IS still there for me, come what may! He lightened up my life once again when I was caught in life’s despair. He helped to ease my pain from afflictions. He stood by me through life’s ups-and-downs. I found peace… again… That is why, I’m going to live on with brand new hope, faith and outlook… Walk with faith in your heart, and you’ll never walk alone, for with faith in your heart, the world is yours to own, you never will grieve, if in Him you believe, so walk with faith in your heart!

Dear Father in Heaven, as not to let you down again, I’ll hold on to my favourite verses, Proverbs 3:5-6, I’ll strive for a more meaningful life ahead. Amen.

        Here is an intriguing passage I did for my quiet time… It was the most memorable one because I was so fascinated by what I read… Take a look!

Genesis 41:46-57 (from New International Version Bible)

          Joseph was thirty years old when he entered the service of Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from Pharaoh’s presence and traveled throughout Egypt. During the seven years of abundance the land produced plentifully. Joseph collected all the food produced in those seven years of abundance in Egypt and stored it in the cities. In each city he put the food grown in the fields surrounding it. Joseph stored up huge quantities of grain, like the sand of the sea; it was so much that he stopped keeping records because it was beyond measure.

          Before the years of famine came, two sons were born to Joseph by Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On. Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, "It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household." The second son he named Ephraim and said, It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering."

          The seven years of abundance in Egypt came to an end, and the seven years of famine began, just as Joseph has said. There was famine in all the other lands, but in the whole land of Egypt there was food. When all Egypt began to feel the famine, the people cried to Pharaoh for food. Then Pharaoh told all the Egyptians, "Go to Joseph and do what he tells you."

          When the famine had spread over the whole country, Joseph opened the storehouses and sold grain to the Egyptians, for the famine was severe throughout Egypt. And all the countries came to Egypt to buy grain from Joseph, because the famine was severe in all the world.

          When seemingly needless suffering invades our lives, we often ask ourselves, "Who needs all this grief?" But consider a moment, the origin of pearls. Each pearl is formed by an oyster’s internal response to a wound caused by an irritant, such as a grain of sand. Resources of repair rush to the injured area. The final result is a lustrous pearl. Something beautiful is created that would have been impossible without the wound. In today’s Bible reading, we see Joseph in a position of influence, a position God soon used to feed surrounding nations and Joseph’s family during famine. But how did he become influential? It began with a wound—being sold into slavery (Genesis 39)—which produced a pearl of usefulness. Because Joseph drew on God’s resources when humiliated, he became better, not bitter. He named his son Ephraim, which means "twice fruitful", and he said, "God has caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction" (41:52). Author Paul E. Billheimer says of Joseph, "If human pity could have rescued him from the sad part of his life, the glorious part that followed would have been lost." So if you’re suffering, remember: No wounds, no pearls! -By Joanie Yoder

If we accept adversity, Enduring every pain, Then we will learn what we should know; Our grief will turn to gain. -Sper

                        "Adversities are often blessings in disguise."

                                          Taken from Our Daily Bread; July 22, 2005.